Life Ramble

Hm, get used to seeing these.

It's just all this school stuff. I'm sort of dreading it.
The school drama especially. And the fact that I'm sort of a chameleon. It sounds really weird when I say that I don't have friends that are girls. But it's sort of true. I can count on one hand how many girl friends I have. It's not bad though. What is bad though is I hate how I'm going to be left out of everything because, I'm just not one of them. I've hung out with the girl aquintances I have, but they aren't people I find myself wanting to hang out with. It makes me unrelatable. I have no idea what my best friend is talking about when she mentions all these things she did with her group of girls. Sort of makes me sad. It's like, I want to be their friend too. But then again, I don't.

It's funny too, because there are times when I would call them all my friend. And times when I just don't. At times when there's more conversing than normal, we're "friends". But the moment that the inside jokes become old and new conversation has replaced the old, the title just disappears.

Guys on the other hand, they're good for anytime. They make stupid jokes to everyone, it's not singlized. But a group of guys don't understand me. They don't get life as a chick, they just see it their way. And when they make crude comments about girls, especially since my boyfriend happens to be in their little posse. I know that they're joking and most of the time I don't care. But some actually stick with me. It's just hard both ways. And it seems like I just tag along with them, but it's not onesided. I hang out with them because I have a fun time with them. I don't feel below them, or above. Everything's equal. They aren't snobby, they don't have up/down PMS-y relationships with each other. Also, I can be myself around them. When I'm around girls, I feel like I have to hold back, just because I don't want to seem stupid. Around dudes though, they're all stupid in that way, so it doesn't matter.

Does this even make sense? I just write things down in the order that they enter my mind. I don't think my mind makes any sense anyways.

Hm, and he hasn't called me yet. I miss him. =[