Haplessness

The "J" necklace sold out online. =[
I guess he'll have to find it elsewhere.

I had halloween plans with him toooo. Stinky parents had to get all parental on me today, so now I can't go. I instead have chores. It was going to be fun too. =[

And seriously, learn to deal with things on your own... that's what I've learned to do. At first I depended heavily on my friends to help me out with my social issues, but that didn't do any good whatsoever. It's just involving innocent bystanders into your own drama. If I feel bad in any way, I take care of it on my own directly with that person. There's no middleman nor miscommunication since it comes directly out of my mouth.

I just feel exasperated.

Halloween

I forgot to blog last night.

People and their drama. Leave me out of it.

Awwww,

So cute, so sweet.
<33


EHK, they might hold us back 6th period. If they do, I might be a little angry. I sort of like to attend my non-tech classes. I hope these people aren't too late.

First Period

Is quite enjoyable to blog in.

I am always right. And correct. And not wrong. I give it several days-weeks.



Btw, my day started off quite nicely. <33

Those3Words

Awesome today.

The tech. presentation was a little tiring though. My feeties hurt. It started off good, ended good too. In between was sort of up-down.

I'm freaking exhausted though. I feel the need to write. And think of ideas for upcoming weeks' 052.

Correctness

Note to self:

Give it a couple weeks-months?

I'll be right, he won't be. Sucks ass for him.

Big Grin

No, not Big Grim.

=]]

Man. I'm putting too much faith into fate. Does that make sense? Well, obviously fate doesn't always turn out how you want. Too much faith in fate, too much love in someone unstable. How will this work out?

I can't stop smiling. Someone needs to slap me.

Journal Bits - 1028

Today was nothing short of amazing. Nothing great in particular happened, but overall it was just good. People keep asking though, it's sort of awkward. But, I just feel more confident about things, no matter how they'll turn out.
I guess, what's happened has happened. There's no way I can go back.

I have lots to do tonight:

• Write thank you cards for mom's friends' presents
• Clean room
• Find fancyshmancy outfit for tomorrow
• Establish afterschool plans
• Write in oldschool journal
• Post junk on Craigslist
• Find JL's book
• HOMEWORK
• Persuade mom about Zune
• Shop $75+ on f21 online
• Clear memory cards
• Think of ideas for this week's 052
• Uh, uhmmm. That's it!

Oh Beezy,

800+ messages I just sorted through. I only saved a couple...
Sigh. Just several months ago, but it seems like years ago. So much in those little myspace messages. It sort of hurt to read them. Like a false sense of security. I hate not knowing things, like what's going to happen in the future. Things are so fragile now... it's like I have to watch my every move. One misstep and things could fall apart all over again. I got some good answers last night, but they still aren't good enough for anything to happen. I don't know what to try. Lately I've just been going with life and taking every bit of it. It seems to be working. If only I could explain it...

Sigh. Myspace inbox is empty now.

Half-Full

My faith is high, don't let it come crashing down.


You're not cool. Butt out of my life and focus on your own. Make some friends, find a different obsession, talk shit about someone else, bite off others, do what people like you do. Just back off a little? You're smothering your item of obsession and it's cringe-inducing for me to watch. Does anyone like you?

BIRTHDAY

Has started out very nicely. At the moment I am at the SouthCenter library waiting for JL to get his ass over here. In the meantime I am printing out all of my birthday coupons from stores around here. Good deals, man.

16, dude. I'm freaking elderly.

Party!

Hella tired. Ohmygoodness.

It was all good (:

My mom took lots of pictures but they came out blurry cause of the zoom and stuff. Sucks. I uploaded some of the good ones onto my myspace though. It was freaking fun. $625 altogether babyyyy. Lots of cool gifts too. Ralph&Angelo, lmao. Twister is awesome, you don't even know. Especially when it's basically all guys that are excited to look homo. Hahahh, it was fun playing. My limbs hurt though. I'm seriously wiped.

Goodnight all. I'm 16 as of today since it's technically the 26th.

He promised to be the first to wish me a happy birthday. Let's see if he is. =]

Oh Yes,

It wasn't a "sike". <3

STRESSMODE. Party is TOMORROW. Still got hella stuff to do and it's already getting late.

Anywho, today was quite nice. Really nice actually. I got balloons, a card, and GUM. Other presents tomorrow =]. JenniferLopez came over again today for a little bit. Mostly went around and ran some errands. Teehee, plus and I saw some funny ass shit in emails. Daaaamn, who knew girls were so clingy. I hekka thought I was all this time. I've been outdone, which is good.

Yayayayayyy, 16 in 2 days. Why am I so old? I hate feeling old. I wish I was 15 forever. It was a pretty good year.

asdkjh?

I hope it wasn't a "sike", because I haven't heard those words in a long ass time.

And I do too. <3

Journal Bits - 102308

Today was amazing? YEAH.

Developed my film and it came out! Heck yessss, got some nice shots. Only 13ish were good though. Others were under/over exposed. Beautious pictures. Never knew it would take so long though.

And then yeaaah, JenniferLopez came to chill. Mowed the lawn. DR. PEPPER! OMFG. Funniest moment of my freaking life.

GA now! This show is entertaining, lmao.

Pallies

Damn,

Can't freaking wait til the end of this week. I love my friends. <3

The Gift Dilemma

Collin: "What do you want for your birthday?"
Catherine: "Ugh, I don't really know. Whatever you'd think I'd like."
Collin: "Oh... okay."
5 seconds later.
Collin: "I KNOW WHAT TO GET YOU!"
Catherine: "Cooooooool."
Collin: "A BARBIE DOLL."
Catherine: "Wtf..."
Mack: "I'll get her Ken!"
Collin: "Don't worry, I'll wrap a $20 bill around her."
Mack: "Stick it in her underwear!"

JL [to Moose]: "Just get her some socks. Hah."



Sigh, I need to think of things I want. No barbie dolls, please. Or socks...

Journal Bits - 102108

Field Trip today.

Was amazing, no lie. I sort of fell asleep on the way there. Hahahh, it was nice. And it was absolutely freezing cold outside when we got to the library. A mocha later, we were all good. I'm mad that my film ripped but I didn't have anything extrodinary anyways. I got LOTS of good pictures that I'm hoping will come out. Lots of digital ones too, but I uploaded them all onto myspace. Hahahh, yay for myspace.

JL, Alison, and Rae are supercool to be on a field trip with. Lmao, we even went shopping and ate crepes. Except I bought a dude shirt and it's hella big on me so I gotta return it. The McD's dude was hella rude too and was texting the whole time. Lame ass. So much to see in Seattle, makes me want to live there someday.

One thing though is that my future car's driver's side door is broken because of a truly unlucky accident. [While on it rolled backwards across the street and into the mailbox while the door was open.] Ahem, yeah. That's my luck. Thankfully my aunt has connections and can get it fixed tomorrow.

Overall, a nice day. Lots to be happy about, besides my car. It's been awhile.
=]

Oh Damn

:D:D:D:D:D

I'm nice to my friends. Unlike you. Get with it.

And, being popular doesn't mean shit when you don't have any friends. Oh my! I guess that means you're not popular. My bad.


Anyways,
I'm kinda tired. I think I'll go to sleep now so I can have cute and happy dreams. <3

LOL

Thanks God. Finally, something lucky happens to me. Pure luck. I think I blew my cover though, so I have limited time left.

So today was quite okay. Nothing interesting. Kind of fun. Especially math, code names are fun to create.

I'm kind of sort of happyish. Nothing to be bummed out about. It's kind of... relieving.

Also, I have waaayyy too many ideas for project052, so I will need to write those down. In the meantime I think I'm going to go continue with my superawesome present thing. It's not really a present. A gift I suppose. Is there a difference?

Field trip tomorrow! Hahahh, we'll see how this goes.

Jeez

This dude's got too much of me.

Don't Give Up

It's these moments that keep me going.

=]

Increase

Wow. 7 new visitors so far today. I wonder why.


Ugh, people piss me off. Desperate/Obvious/Pathetic/Annoying. Get a clue? Take a hint? LISTEN to people? Please, you're only embarrassing yourself. You make me cringe when I read that shit. We all know it now, so stop wasting your time. That would be personally insulting to me if you continue this charade because you and me are quite different people. I won't say more. Also, are you really that stupid? Seriously. All you want is fucking attention from a DUDE. If you want attention, be smart about it. Don't go acting a fool.

Laugh With Me

How many? Let's see: 1, 2, 3, 4. + more?

I wonder how many of them actually meant it. Hm, 1? I wonder who that would be.



Fucking retards, learn the definition before you use it. If you don't know it then don't go throwing it around. Some people like to actually mean the words they say.

I know you're not one of them, but please. Think of the smart people. Bxtch.

I'm Good

I thought of the best Going Away/Christmas/New Year's gift ever. So simplistic, yet meaningful.

Soooo, my present thing makes me all smiley. Like now. Like when I think about things.

Today was okay as well. I got cranky in the morning, I dislike waking up early. At least I got to see him for like, 15 minutes though. I took a 2 hour nap afterwards then ate crab with the family. Emily was over here and was just soooo cute.

I really need to start on project052. Like with ideas and such. It'll take me awhile to do.

Going to my aunt's house soon. A call shall ensure later.

Who had a wonderful day?

Catherine did.
:D

So it didn't start that way at first, then it was all good.
Model UN meeting, JL came over, YoungLife Haunted Forest, long ride, Top Foods, home.

It was fuuuun, sort of short though. I got hella scared at some points. I had to wash my shoes when I came home though, ehk. And now I'm just uploading pictures and such. I'm so freaking tired too.

I'm going to go finish the second Twilight novel and sleep peacefully tonight.

Random Bits

"When did your heart go missing?"
- Rooney


So I drove today. Slightly freaky, but it wasn't too bad. My cell phone rang though, hahahh. I was quite tempted to answer then realized that wouldn't have been a good idea.

New theories, they're eating me up. I just want some truth.

Small Details

If you ever stop to think and notice the little things, you'll see a whole different side of people. They say things, but act another. You wouldn't know that if you didn't stop to look. So for now I'll try to abide by words, even though the actions speak for themselves.

So many little details in there. I stop and see them. You're amazing, and I mean that in a good way.

Today:
Last day of driving school!
Finish invitations!

Tomorrow:
Model UN!
Haunted Forest w/ people!

Ish Day

So things were okay. Kind of funny. Ironic, etc.

Hm, I feel like.... ? Idk how I could possibly explain it. I have a lot of growing up to do within 22 days. At least it doesn't start for awhile. I can get a head start now I suppose. Pah, as if I haven't tried yet. I need more faith. I need to chill.

Last day of driving school tomorrow! Kind of really glad. It put a crimp on my social plans.

Project052! Hell yes, I'll link it somewhere soon. It's a crazy mad attempt at something I'll continue for a year, but I can do it.

UGHHHHH. Can I get a call?

LATE START

Meeting JL for spicy chicken teriyaki in a couple minutes.

Okay, bye.

Journal Bits - 101408

I learned. I did good.

So today was pretty cool.
Lotttts of things to look foward to now, I think I'll have to recalendar myself. I also got lots of good information today, things I never even knew. All good stuff though, don't worry. And these epiphanies, they just keep coming.

Late start tomorrow! Plans in the morning? We shall see. I'm hella craving spicy chicken teriyaki.

OHHH, and my birthday is in 12 days. Also, I am Craigslisting all my shit and money is piling in. And my parents might buy me a zune. That would be amazing, I'm tired of this cellphone/mp3 all-in-one deal. ANDDDD my party is soon. I'm excited, it should be an amazing night.

In addition, Yvonne and I are starting our 52-week project. It's like a 365 for photographers, but we're not that advanced yet. So it's just 1 a week.

=]]

Betch

Try, see if you can win. Okay? You can't, because I don't lose.

=]
I don't even know. It's not like I can blog about much on a public blog. You'd be surprised, things are working out differently for me now. It's no longer grim, nor saddistic. It's looking up, for reasons I can't exactly write about. It's just that things have taken place, things have been said, realizations made. It's good, it's something I can now be satisfied with.

People will come and go, but I wonder when I will. Or will I even? All I know is, I don't trust your words. There's something there, don't deny it. You know how it is.

I'm sorry, but I'll try to be easier to get along with now. I didn't know people were saying what they said. Truth is, I just didn't the will to pretend to be happy months ago. Now? I'm happy, and I'll try to show it. You're all great people, thanks for noticing when I couldn't even see myself. =]

Sweetness

Today was pretty amazing, I won't lie. Usually there are bad bits to every day but not this time. I can only think of this one time when things weren't as smooth.

So, Puyallup earlier today. Then drove down to Kent to pick up JL then to Kent Station, took the metro to Southcenter, etc. etc. I only bought 1 cardigan, stupid delia's didn't have the coat I wanted. And XXI Forever is too freaking big to shop in now. Ate at Johnny Rockets even though their food is hella expensive. It was the first time I actually followed him around while he shopped. That's sorta bad, means I was always the one hogging the shopping time, lmao.

Metro home was tiring, I almost fell asleep and missed my stop. Then got home and parents weren't mean which was good. Now I have hella homework to start on and to make my invitations ANNDDDD Desperate Housewives tonight! Hell yeah!

=]

Synopsis

Parts of tonight were amazing. <3

Others sucked ass.

Education

It never hurt anybody. Did you pass elementary school? I'm pretty sure that's when we learned the basics of grammar.

Honey, you just sound stupid.

Smiley Moments

Isn't it always nice to see the person you like first thing in the morning?
My warm and fuzzy cheetah blanket smells like him now. =]

"Like". I guess, who knows. When anybody asks I don't always know what to say, but sure. Let's just go with that for now. Even when he asks I have no definite answer. It requires a big long explanation which I'm in no mood to give.

Sosoooo, tonight will be amazing? In a couple hours I'm gonna call everyone, I doubt many people are up right now. In the meantime, I'm freaking hungrryyyy. Off to make food.



OBVIOUS, cut it out. It's nasty. You could be read like a book.

Ugh

Fucking grrr.

:) =] :D

I'm feeling very animated and excited right now, so I'm gonna blog.

Tomorrow shall be VERY fun. Yayayayyayyayayy, I feel hella hyper at the moment. So we have decided on Quarantine, except it looks so freaking scary. So I'll need Leah on one side and my hidebehindable dude on the other.

Part of the synopsis:
"Scenes of non-stop violence occur throughout the film. A man jumps on to the ground floor of a building from an upper floor( you see the damaged corpse). There are many scenes of people being bitten and cut open by mutants that look very disturbing and awful. "

Good lord, why will I pay money to see this? Maybe because it'll be superfun? Who knows, I hope I don't get too scared. Maybe! I can like, not bring my glasses.

I thought of things just now, they made me smile.
(:

Brrrr

aSDlkjasdaasdasd.

It's freaking cold outside.
So tomorrow my plan is to get all homework/chores out of the way in the morning, then call everyone about antiHC plans, then get ready and stuff to goooogogo. I hope, I hope. If we see a scary movie then certain people must go, I tend to get jumpy and hide behind things.

Today felt like the longest day of my freaking life. Perhaps it's just cause I woke up early and did nothing all day. Hahah, my room is clean though. And I made my walls all cool my hanging up random crap of my life.

It's almost lateeee. Where art thou?

Journal Bits - 101008

So today was no school, but still I woke up excruciatingly early. My mother drove me to the KS bus station where we drove someone up to near here. Then I practiced driving in neighborhoods which was quite boring.

After I got home I had to help my mom tidy up her salon. Then we walked over home and I fell asleep on the couch and woke up more than 2 hours later. Woke up, made some lunch [first meal of the day] and now I am having to clean the house. This is all so that I can go out tomorrow and Sunday. This is all because I had my mom do someone a favor this morning. This is all because I was completely and utterly right, so now I gotta get things done my way.

You're so funny to watch. You're just making a fool of yourself like the one before you did. Why not learn from your peers? You do not know how to play the game like I do. Just watch.

Oh Glory

I was right. Blew it.

So my weekend is looking up. Today was veryvery nice. I quite liked it.

And football! UGH, how did we freaking lose? Hella close at the end, less than 20 yrds away. My throat hurts, I screamed a little too much. I've been home for about 15 minutes, but my toes are still numb. It was worth it though (:

No school tomorrow! I shall make plans, or spend it at home pleasing my parents by doing chores and such, that way I can get my phone back AND make plans for later dates. Saturday is the AntiHC which now many people are attending over the dance. Sunday is mallday? Perhaps, depends on other people as well.

Ahahahhhh, I laugh. Today was interesting.

Journal Bits - 1008

I like today. It makes me feel optimistic, but that could end badly tomorrow. I have a feeling that tomorrow will be a letdown, for reasons that are sort of obvious to me.

I was supposed to drive home from AMV today, but I chickened out! Hahahh, I was scared I'd get in a wreck. But I promised my mom I'd drive her around soon. Scarrrryy.

I had lots to talk about before, but now those things seem insignificant. I just think that, in light of all this crap, I'm still okay. I feel fine. I feel satisfied now. I know things that you don't know, so think what you want but you're not as close to the truth as I am.

I crave ice cream. These spicy funyuns are making the roof of my mouth all raw. I suppose I should stop eating them now.

Off to plan my RoyalSpirit Attire.
:D

Journal Bits - 1007

Mixed signals, misunderstandings, confusion, frustration, stupidity.

Ehh, I had my smiley moment today. The effect wore off a couple hours later which sort of killed the whole thing.

I think I have chronic butt pains. For about a week now my butt has hurt. Usually after standing up the soreness wears off, but nooooo. Not for me. I hate it, I never realized how miserable life would be if your butt hurts.

This week has been weird. Well, only two days. I'm cellular restricted, meaning when I'm at home I don't get to use it. Thankfully I have a landline that I can still use. Hahahh, without my phone I went to sleep at 9:30pm last night. I sort of missed my phone. Lame.

Game this thursday! OMG, which means I have to miss Grey's Anatomy. That's pretty much lame. Oh well, full episodes are available on abc.com.

Birthday in 19 days!

antiHC vs. HC

Not literally "anti" as in we hate all things HC related, but it's just an alternative. A good one at that (:

1. HC = $15-20 + cost of attire // AHC = $7ish + cost of snacks
2. HC = hours to get ready // AHC = as little time as you want to take
3. HC = formal // AHC = who cares what you wear
4. HC = no FOOD! // AHC = buy and eat as you're there
5. HC = constant adult supevision // AHC = just us kids
6. HC = dance or do nothing // AHC = have fun no matter what you do
7. HC = hot, sweaty, cramped cafeteria // ACH = wide open area
8. HC = limits // ACH = limitless

And the list goes on and on. I guess I'll go to the cheaper casual dances, hahahhh. But homecoming doesn't intrigue me this year. I'd rather go chill with the group. Hekka people wanna go ACH this year which makes it all the more better. Now we gotta decide which movie to see and when. Ahhhh, I'm excited.

Anyways, Young Life tonight! @ 7:27pm

And I'm basically phone/internet grounded. Except I always find a way around things. Like now how I'm on. Hahahh, oii.

Lyrical

Turn it uppppp, it's 5 minutes to midnighhhht.
You're hot then you're cold, you're yes then you're no.
Flames to dust, lovers to friends. Why do all good things come to an end?

Too many songs stuck in my head.

- Sighsigh. Possibly the hardest thing I've had to do ever.

Have faith in me and I'll have faith in you.

About Time

I think I'm ready now. It's time.

It's hard not to be sad.

Lazy Sunday

Didn't blog yesterday. Lack of interestingness I suppose.

Today is a lazy day, except I have tons of stuff to do, none of which is blogworthy.
It's not raining! Maybe I'll go out later. Maybe not. Maybe I should call that jerk.

Okay, I need a bowl of cereal.

Almost Forgot!

I just made an 11:11 wish.

So today I am incredibly tired, no lie. Ehh, I went to the Model UN meeting. Then J-Pants came over for a little before the game. The game was pretty freaking intense. Lots of people were there: Me, Leah, Jacky, Morris, Michael, Ralph, Zane, Collin, Kerlyn, Moose, Susane, + many others. I totally thought we were going to win, we were doing gooood until the 3rd quarter. Freaking lame.

13-35, I think.

Today was Moose's first day on the metro. Hahahhh, I had to tell him what to do. And I'm officialy pooped out.

Tomorrow I need plans! Blah.

Dear Me,

I just wrote a big long letter to myself.

I feel highly refreshed now, keep it coming Life.

Today

"Happy negative 1month."

Oh gee, thanks. Have to admit though, it was pretty clever. It was supposed to be 6.

Dontcha Love it?

I have no more reasons, I've ran out. They held on pretty well up until now, now it seems like nothing else will. And you know what? That's good. I wish I had sucky reasons in the first place. Would have saved me a buttload of time that I'll never get back.

I hereby state that I will follow through with what I had been intending to do for quite some time now. There's no point in backing out at the moment. So be it.

It's okay, pinky promise.



Lots of upcoming plans, I can't wait. :D