Dear Catherine,

You are who you are. If people can't understand that, then that's fine. You deserve better.

You deserve someone who will love you consistently, not just on his own terms. You deserve somebody that will see past your flaws, past, and mistakes. You deserve somebody who KNOWS you. Not just by what you say about yourself. You're better than you give yourself credit for, because you don't deserve to be hurt. Never. You need to be mature and realize that people can't just walk all over you like that. You have to stand up for yourself. If they don't listen, then leave. Just leave. Don't stand around wondering when the next time your heart will get broken will be. Someone who hurts you isn't good enough for you. Learn to leave. If they can't see what they have in front of them, then they're not worth it.

And learn to see through people's words. They will say things over and over again, and one day they'll tell you it was all lies. They'll tear you to pieces and think that mere "sorrys" will suffice.

You think you love him. And maybe you do. But just stop. He's a stupidass punk that doesn't know his right from his left. "Love" is a stupid word. Ehk, don't even say it. *You think that you like him. There, waaaay better. Now, just stop. Feelings for him need to go away. It's not that hard. Think about all the bad things he said/did to you. It'll make you cry all over again, but whatever. Cuddle up with your dog and eat some ice cream, just get over it.

Do what you need to do. Go tear up pictures, kick a wall, pump up your iTunes, imagine gutting him with a spork, write a super long blog post to yourself, anything. Just get him out of your system. He doesn't deserve a thought in your mind. Resist the urge to talk to him, it'll make things worse. Stay strong, it's hard but you know that you can do it. You've done it before, so you know it's been done. Remember after Vietnam? Only this time, just take a metal vacation.

Don't fool yourself either. "He'll change". Hell no, don't think that. Don't assume that things will get better. They don't. Never. I have yet to be proven wrong. Don't sit there and wait for change, do it your damn self. Be a man! Lmao, not really. But you get it.

Now don't go looking. You can't do that. Dudes aren't important now, they just waste your time with their bullshit. If you happen to find one that will treat you right, then proceed with caution. Flirt it up, have fun, who cares. Just don't get committed with someone that doesn't treat you the way you ought to be. And most importantly, learn to let go.

Look after yourself, don't let this happen again. It'll be the end of you.

Take care Lovely,
Me

[Might write later]