Things I'd like to Say

Might as well get it out? Who gives a crap.
I think I'm just on this streak of saying everything that crosses my mind. Yeah, a thought barf. Lmao, that sounds hella nasty. Anyways, where to start. I feel scatterbrained, so beware.

The teenage population annoys me. Lmao, this blog could be long if I went on and on, which I don't have time for. All the freaking drama. It's always there, and basically affects everyone. I know I don't go around talking hella smack or girlfighting, lmao. I still get involved it in, which is stupid because what the hell do I do, I'm a coward, I don't have anything dramaworthy. But guys, they are the main cause all of the freaking drama in the world. It's hard to picture a time when I liked a guy and wasn't involved in some sort of drama. I don't say shittt, I just freaking like or go out with a guy, and all of a sudden I get death stares from little cliques of girls. It's like, one girl's got a problem and so does all of her friends. So freaking stupid. No wonder why girls get such a bad name with drama. Even though we all know guys participate in it just as much as we do. Hahah, and myspace wars! Those are freaking hillarious. Like, get a life, really. If you login to myspace just to talk smack back and forth with some chick, then freaking get a life. Stupid. Oh, and bulliten wars. Those are the worst. You can't avoid them. You go to your home page and there they are. "FUK U STOOPiiD BiiTCHH", "FUC UR MOM", etc. Keep it in a message, at least then the whole world doesn't have to see it.

Stream of Consciousness 1

I miss doing these. We did these in New Mexico, it's sort of like a word/thought vomit where you just write and write and write revolving around a thought, word, or idea. Etc. I feel slightly poetic. I think it's the sunny weather, it gives my soul some depth. Hahaha, hmm.


Summer cotton dresses, winter clearance markdowns, a season of change, a season to grow. People, they change themselves, let's try to act hard, let's try to be nicer, let's just not care. Who cares. Either way, they come back to school all the same. You can still see right through them. That "cool" title you've got on your forehead, that style you think is "all yours", I see right through that. I wish others could. You think you've got admirers, but they don't love you. They love the thought of you. So cool, so slick, you're so freaking hillarious. I'll laugh really loudly at your jokes. I'll laugh like it's actually funny. No wait, I won't. It's summer, I've changed. Maybe you could see through me before, but now you can't. There's nothing to see through. I'm done trying to please all you that think you matter. It's stupid, cause you don't. You're just like me, you're just like the next freaking kid to walk down the hall, you're like us all. So so so high and mighty. You rule the world in your mind. Take your nose down a notch, keep your eyes on me, make your tone even, leave your attitude at home. I feel sorry for you, I wish you could see.

Boy, I feel better now.

Picasa!

I was on Picasa's program and saw the option to "Blog This". Hahaha, this could come in handy. It makes sense since Blogger and Picasa are both Google program things. Ehh, anyways. That's cool. The above picture is left-to-right, auntie's friend, her babe Hannah, cousin Emily, my aunt. Emily's tryna kiss the baby. Sillysilly kids.

La Musica

2 nights ago I transferred my music from my old desktop onto a memory card and onto my laptop after painstakingly going through them to see which songs I wanted to keep. Well, I dragged all the songs from the memory card over to my iTunes. Then, brilliant me, deleted the songs from the memory card so that there was more space on it. I thought since they were in iTunes, I could delete them. Well, SHIT. "iTunes could not locate this file, would you like to browse for it?" Fuckfuck, I cussed inside my head many times. So, I had to limewire allllll those songs to replace them. I could have deleted them, but I didn't feel lazy for once.

My desktop's been around for 10 years, and I had my first mp3 in like, 7th grade. Lotssss of music files. So now I'm reminscing and it's amazing. I think old songs are the best, it's like they have history with you. I've been in Party Shuffle for the past couple hours, it's just great. I could go like, be productive, but I've chosen not to for awhile.

For those of you who have OpenID or a Google/Blogger account, comment and leave me songs. I have one of those detailed tracker count things, soooo many people, no comments. :D

Lalaaaa...

Another SC Day

Today was the mall-day with Jacky. It was absolutely wonderful except for the fact that I could not find anything.

I swear, f21 is so huge, it's hard to find anything. All I wanted was this long sleeve burnout top thing I saw online. Nooo, wasn't in there. Or if it was, I sure as hell did not find it. dELiA*s has this fleece peacoat I wanted, nope not in stores. Wetseal's Buffalo Plaid Jacket? Hahah, no luck. Ew, and that store is extremely hot and musty.

Got a few things at f21, a shirt at hot topic. Hm, yeah that was it. Red Mango is goooood. I like their blenders. Kinda pricey, but ohhh well. Then at KS we pigged out at Jack-in-the-box. It was lovely up until the part where I looked at the beef and noticed how gross it looked as a hamburger. Hahah, I wish I had the balls to become a vegitarian. I love meat though, I'd just give in after a couple days, shame on me.

Hm, and today I got this weird Deja Vu. Creepy. Hearing "Collide" by Howie Day gave me this flashback of those first days of our relationship. Kind of corny, but it was a warm&fuzzy moment in my head. I should listen to more old songs and see what sort of randomness I can obtain from them.

Yikes, 3 days left. This is cramping my mood.

Journal Bits - 0829

Hm, so I'm sort of bored.

My mom kidnapped my laptop so she could look at houses with this real estate person that's over at our house right now. So I am on the new desktop. It's okay, but it doesn't have GIMP. I would much rather be using that right now.

My aunt's going to Vancouver with Emily, and I superrrr want to go. But I'd come back on Monday which my mother does not approve of since "I need to be getting ready for school that day." My butt.

So tomorrow I'm going to southcenter with Jacky. Then Sunday is helping out with a wedding party, lots of food. Leah won't be back til Sunday afternoon, bleh. I wanted to borrow her to help with my photoproject. Maybe Jacky can do that, who knows. The project is unnamed and undefined. I guess I have to think about that some.

I think I need to make to-do lists too. Like one on paper that I can physically cross off things from. Ahhh, my life is a mess.

So much to do. Can't wait until tomorrow. I get to hang out and buy new clothes, only God knows how much I need that.

Angry Rant 2

Ahh, what a long day. As was yesterday.

Yesterday I got a haircut. It's not so bad. I told the lady not to touch my bangs, so she didn't and it looks fine. Vietnamese people are quite blunt, and I got very angry inside my head yesterday. I'm used to it though, so it's all good.

I mean, I know I'm skinny. I freaking understand. It's not like I want to be. I know I would look better with a couple pounds of my face, I know I would look better with boobs and butt. Who doesn't know that. But I do not starve myself, nor do I make myself throw up, in fact, I don't have any sort of eating disorder, I like my food. You blame it on whatever, but I really don't know why I'm thin. I eat greens, meats, grain, and I do not excercise religiously.

People always nag on me for my weight. I don't want to be skinny! I wouldn't mind being a little chubby, that would be wonderful. And all I see is people complaining and wanting to lose weight. What for? Yeah, lose weight if you've become unhealthy and overweight. But if you're just losing weight to lose weight, then don't even go there. You don't want to look like me, so don't bother. I wish there were magazine spreads and little pop-up ads about gaining weight. I would pay for that shit.

Angry rant over.

Inspired for the Moment

If only I had a white wall. Life would be so much easier. Instead, I must now settle for a decent colored wall. Well, I could use other walls too I guess. I just need to find pretty and clean scenery, without crap littering the background. Hm, a lot harder to find than I expected.

I finally learned how to add textures and stuff. Like, I knew how before but it was very beginner-y. Oh, and I need someone to take the pictures. I don't have a tripod for my camera. I wish I had a digital SLR. I wish I had decent backgrounds to use. I wish a lot of things. I just want to try my ideas out. How suckish.

Anywho, check out what I made last night. =]

School Countdown!

5 days left!

I still have so many things left to do before summer08 ends. About a couple days into the school year and I'll be looking forward to summer09. Ahhhhh, summer's ending. Reality hasn't hit me yet, it will soon though.

I still need to:

• Go shopping for clothes
• Get a freaking haircut
• Hang out with all my pallies
• Read all my checked-out books
• Buy a graphing calculator
• Update my iTunes
• Update my planner
• Fully clean my room
• Organize my life
• Hmm, lots more.

Graphics Site

Forreals now, you got to check it out. [www.dramaticsunshine.com], or just click the link.

All of my stuff is under "Blends". Right now there's only some of my stuff, as it's not updated every 5 seconds. By tomorrow there might be some more stuff, idk. It's all in my photobucket right now, which you can check out here.

I kid you not, it's hard work. Yvonne, my friend who created the site taught me how to do things on there. It's nerdy, but who cares. Not everyone can do that stuff. And, now I know how to edit actual pictures, with inspiration from Rosie Hardy of course. She's amazing.

Finally, instead of watching reruns and sleeping all day, I have found a way to channel my boredom. On days like these, GIMP is fabulous. But I'm about to go out soon, so right now I'm just temporarily on GIMP.


Oh, and I got Studio Photography 1 for 1st period. I'm superrr excited. I even pulled out my old camera, the one that's way older than me. It's so cool, takes me back beyond the days of digital cameras. From what I hear, it's a cool class. I'll sort of miss marketing though. That class I was actually interested in. But alas, the teacher has gone.

Okay, have fun looking at my stuff :D

In Need of a Haircut

For as long as I can remember, my mom has taken me to this Vietnamese lady who talks and laughs while cutting my hair. I've learned to give her precise measurements, "1.5 inches off the back", but I still end up with short fluffy bangs.

A simple trim is all I ask for. If only I could cut it myself, I don't think that'd work too well though. So far I've only mastered bang-trimming. Goodness, one week left of school and my hair is still uncomfortabley long.


Hahahhh, it's 9:16pm. But I'm still in my PJs from last night. I freaking love days like these.

Journal Bits - 0825

So, my day was pretty hectic today.

Woke up, left aunt's house to mine. Jacky came over and chilled. We took apart my old desktop and installed my new one. Hahahah, I know how dull this sounds. It was fun though. We hung out, watched Disney Channel Games, then ate a whole bunch. And I showed him the house my aunt's considering moving to. It's like, 5 houses down from him, lmao.

Took the metro to KS, he transferred home and I waited for the freaking 154 to auburn station. What a beezy! That bus was more than 20 minutes late. Came zooming through the bus station but by then it was too late. I would have missed my 3rd bus. So I called my aunt and told her to pick me up at auburn p&r. Took the 180 [which was 10+ minutes late], and it was freaking scary. Not scary I guess, but I don't want to take that bus again. Weird characters in Auburn. There was a dude in a wheelchair next to me who said when he was coming on "Watch your feet! I'm a mean motherhumper!" Okay, wtf. Then he was talking to this guy 2 down from me about how he just got out of jail after 4 months. Apparently smoked a joint, wasn't supposed to. Idk. And the guy he was talking to, his wife was in the hospital. He didn't know why. Or how, where, when. He was like "Iono, goin there ta see her now!" It was chaotic. I didn't feel comfortable on that bus. And the since the bus was late, the bus driver was speeding through the streets, I feared for my life.

Now, I am enjoying an ice cream drumstick while my aunt puts Emily to sleep.

Journal Bits - 0824

In addition to the blog below:

Today was my dad's birthday. I came from my aunt's house to Safeway to buy him his favorite cookies and cinnamon rolls. And I called when I woke up to tell him happy birthday.

Emily learned how to kiss. But she only kisses on the lips. It's weird. My aunt doesn't have my uncle around to kiss anymore... so I was wondering where she learned that from. Then I had a realization. I hope it wasn't from me. Lmao, I'll just blame it on TV.

We were all at my house having beef stuff for lunch. It was tasty. I cleaned my room some, all explained in the other blog. Blahblah, and I watched Emily some for my aunt. Then all us girlies were laying around in the family room and laughing at stupid things. That's what I call "Family Bonding".

Then came back to aunt's where Emily was being a lameo because she didn't have her afternoon nap. I taught her how to say "Emmy", hahah. She's such a cutie. Oh yeah, and I made like... 5 batches of cookies for neighbors. It was exhausting to say the least. I just now made Mac&Cheese to eat.

I'm pooped out.

Mission Organization

So I got this awkward inspiration to clean my room.
Not just throw clothes in the hamper or closet, but actually clean.

So I went through some of my unused drawers, and I found Hello Kitty Body Glitter in blue, pink, and purple. Furthermore, I found Barbie lip gloss and stickers. It was bad.
Armed with a grocery bag, I went through and chucked everything. Now I have a couple newly empty drawers. I have plans and plans and plans for my room once it's tidied up, but who knows how long that'll be.

My room is tiny and pink, so the littlest piece of trash makes the room look like a pigsty. It sucks, honestly.

I barely go into my room. Except to sleep/change. I cleared off my desk some for a designated homework space. LMAO. Yeah, I need more motivation to do homework, a nice clean desk might just be it.

Now I want to actually live in my room. All my stuff is spread out in random places throughout the house, so now I want it all in my room. I think that's what a bedroom is supposed to be like, hahahh.

So tomorrow I return home to continue on my conquest for a tidy, minimalistic space. I love my word choice. :D

Reoccuring Nightmare

Hahah, almost forgot to blog today.

Hm, so I had my reoccuring nightmare last night. It's not really the whole nightmare that reoccurs, but it's a part of it. In my nightmares, there's always something that happens. Like people break in, killers after me, etc. And everytime I call 911 in my nightmare, they never come. Like, the line will be busy, I'll get an answering machine, or they just never come after I talk to them. It's pretty scary. I hate those nightmares. Maybe it's a sign that it'll happen to me someday in life. Hahah, let's hope not.

In Need of a Coat

I have coats. They all shrunk... er, I grew.

I just want a simple, warm, hooded coat. At this point I'm just going to have a layer 5 hoodies and bring an umbrella.

I've been scouring my favorite store sites for awhile. Delia*s had a good one. But $100+ is not in my price range. Lmao, maybe that's why I haven't been able to find one. Ahh, I need more jobs. Feeding farm animals and babysitting has only gotten me so far.

Emily the Baby

Scary experience today.

We are very very lucky. Emily had a dog biscuit to give to her doggy, Kilo, and she was holding it while following my aunt around. My aunt was brushing her teeth when Emily fell into the bathtub. She had had a bath earlier, so the tub still had some water in it. Turns out that the dog biscuit fell into the bathtub while she was running around with it, and she was reaching in to grab it when she reached too far and fell in. It was super scary. Thank God my aunt was there to get her out. She could have been playing by herself. Still, Emily could have stood up in the water, but who knows what she would have done.

Lol, my aunt and mom were joking around yesterday about Emily's pratically my daughter. Silly babbyyy. I feel so bad for her already, not having her father around. He died of cancer when she was 11 months old. =[

So that's why I've been around so much. I could sit down and talk about her for hours. Since I'm with her almost all the time, I know her so well. I guess she's like a little sister or something.

Life Ramble

Hm, get used to seeing these.

It's just all this school stuff. I'm sort of dreading it.
The school drama especially. And the fact that I'm sort of a chameleon. It sounds really weird when I say that I don't have friends that are girls. But it's sort of true. I can count on one hand how many girl friends I have. It's not bad though. What is bad though is I hate how I'm going to be left out of everything because, I'm just not one of them. I've hung out with the girl aquintances I have, but they aren't people I find myself wanting to hang out with. It makes me unrelatable. I have no idea what my best friend is talking about when she mentions all these things she did with her group of girls. Sort of makes me sad. It's like, I want to be their friend too. But then again, I don't.

It's funny too, because there are times when I would call them all my friend. And times when I just don't. At times when there's more conversing than normal, we're "friends". But the moment that the inside jokes become old and new conversation has replaced the old, the title just disappears.

Guys on the other hand, they're good for anytime. They make stupid jokes to everyone, it's not singlized. But a group of guys don't understand me. They don't get life as a chick, they just see it their way. And when they make crude comments about girls, especially since my boyfriend happens to be in their little posse. I know that they're joking and most of the time I don't care. But some actually stick with me. It's just hard both ways. And it seems like I just tag along with them, but it's not onesided. I hang out with them because I have a fun time with them. I don't feel below them, or above. Everything's equal. They aren't snobby, they don't have up/down PMS-y relationships with each other. Also, I can be myself around them. When I'm around girls, I feel like I have to hold back, just because I don't want to seem stupid. Around dudes though, they're all stupid in that way, so it doesn't matter.

Does this even make sense? I just write things down in the order that they enter my mind. I don't think my mind makes any sense anyways.

Hm, and he hasn't called me yet. I miss him. =[

Journal Bits - 0821

Today was Royal Rally day. Er whatever it's called.

I went into the cafeteria to get my schedule, and I told them my name is "CATHERINE Nguyen", and they gave me my schedule. I was looking at it was Leah and was like wttfff. Said I had 2 IB classes and computer applications. Lmao, I'm in tech. Why would I want comp. apps? And then Leah says "Wait... you have no tech teachers!" We had another WTF moment, then Leah points out that it's not my schedule. Soooo I had to go back to the table and get mine. Turned out they gave me Cathy Nguyen's. Lmao.

My picture, oii. The lady holds up a mirror and said "Look good?" Well, the mirror was all crappy and I couldn't see a single thing. It was all fogged over and stuff. Even if it had be a decent mirror, I still have failing eyesight. Lmao. So I was like Mhm! and the picture was taken. I hope it turns out well. But it never does. Thank God for retakes.

Saw lots of people. The girls, the dudes. It wasn't exhilarating or anything. Then Jacky came over. He got to see Emily and her antics, and the stupid daytime shows I watch on TV. It was all Full House reruns and such. We were just lazy couch potatos, it was great. Hahah, it makes me happy that he wouldn't say that he was bored. There's only so many Full House episdoes one can watch before they lose their sanity. I would know. Watched Emily for awhile and stuff while aunt and mom went to Walmart and looked at houses. She's such a cutie. It was all a goooood day.

Then aunt/em and I went to Fred Meyer. We bought soooo much stuff, mostly for Emily. The dude behind us in line looked like he wanted to kill us. It was sort of scary. Emily waved at the people in lines and stuff, but not that dude. Now I'm back at aunt's house. I ate so freaking much I think I have a permenant stomach ache. Sucks butt.

And that was my day.

My Ears Broke

LMAO. Just a slight exaggeration.

I just heard Hayden Pane... whatever's song "Wake Up Call". Earlier yesterday I heard Hedi Montag's new song.

The background music was super loud [probably to drown out their voice], their voices were mediocre, just how anybody with lessons could sound, and it was just sort of pitiful. Hayden's was basically an ad for Kohl's. Silly silly celebs. I can seriously say that I will never listen to those songs again.

Why? I mean seriously. WHY? They're successful in acting... acting. Not singing. So just stick with that. You have an actual talent, and you're famous for it. Don't push your luck.

Lots of actresses have been doing that too. Lindsey Lohan, PARIS HILTON gagggg, etc. It bothers me. Some people out there actually have singing talent, soo... let them have a go. You're good at acting, you got your shot. Go you. Leave some room for the real people.

Journal Bits - 0819

Well,

Today was not such a horrible day. I woke up around 5:00am due to the fact that Emily was up and would not fall back asleep. She started to hit me on the head with her tiny palms, then she continued to squeal in my ear, and laughed in my face. Oi, infants.

Then I fell back asleep, only to be woken again at 9:30am, which is early in the world of summer. Watched the women's volleyball quarterfinals game against Italy. It was GOOD. USA won, thankfully.


UGHHHHHHHH. Fucking asshole. I have too much to say to that boy. I feel like punching him. Lmao.

Blahblah, I have suddenly lost the energy to blog. Bye

TSLOTAT/VB

UGH. I forgot to blog yesterday. The first skipped day.

YAY, today is Tuesday, which means that The Secret Life of the American Teenager is on tonight. The actors in the show don't faze me. Amy, Adrian, and Ricky are played well. The rest of the cast makes me cringe, lmao. Like Ben, he just makes me want to slap him.

The best part about the show I guess is the plot. I don't even know what's good about the show. But yet every Tuesday I sit by the TV and watch. It's sort of addicting I suppose, but I do want to find out about what's going to happen to this baby.


So, volleyball. I like the sport and all. I've been playing since 6th grade, but yet I don't want to try out this year. It's sort of weird. I love the game and everything, but high school volleyball doesn't seem to be something I enjoy. But if I don't do volleyball, then I'll be sportless. And I don't really like sportless people. It's just the whole high school aspect of it, the teams, the involvement, etc.

I don't think I'll be trying out this year. It's too late basically, I haven't been going to practices or workouts or anything. Sigh, I'll miss the sport though. I better think fast on what to take up next, hahah.

Wishlistr/etc.

I think these days of sleeping later than normal have finally caught up to me. And those early morning wake ups. Like the thunder last night, how was anybody supposed to sleep through that?

Well, I've been having fun of Wishlistr. It's a big waste of time, but time is all I have right now. With sites I visit a lot, I add things to my cart/bag or wishlist, but this is the universal one, hahahh. It's not a special site or anything, sort of bland and boring, but it's useful to some extent. I need just one more shopping trip to get it out of the way, then I'll be set for school. I just want to ditch some of the clothes I have sitting around in my closet.


Hm, I watched the olympics today. Just like every other day. Women's basketball was on this morning, USA vs. NZ. Games are only fun when there's competition. USA was leading by a lot the whole game. It got boring to see the US keep getting shots. Then volleyball came on. USA vs. Poland. Now that was fun to watch. First off, I guess it's because I actually understand/like the game. Second, there was actual competition. I didn't know the Polish are volleyball beasts, but they are. I thought USA was going to lose, but those ladies are tough. In the end USA won 3 sets, Poland won 2. It's funny because Poland won one more point than USA in the whole game. You'd think whoever scores the most would win? Oh well, USA won. Next they're playing Italy I think.


And I think I should go through and rename some of my blog posts. So that they're relevant to the actual post. Hm, yeah. I'll go do that.

Silly MTV Shows

When there's nothing on ABC Fam/Nick/Disney, I resort to MTV. There's sooo many filler shows they have. A lot of them are reality shows about random celebrities. I swear, if you're famous, you can get a show on MTV. Desperate folks.

Anyways, today there was this show called "True Life" or something like that, I don't even remember. Today's episode was about compulsive shoppers. HAHAAHAHH. It was sort of funny how camera men followed chicks with big bucks around all day. They would just be leaving the store, then the girl would be like "Hm, I like that shirt. Let's go back." Lmao. Fake, but some things seemed true.

If I was a snobby richkid, I would probably be in their shoes too. Instead, I scour through racks and racks and sales and clearances armed with coupons and my stinking debit card. Hahahah, oh to be rich. But then, it would take all the fun out of shopping for me. I get a happy feeling when I find cheap wearable items, hahah. Dorky, I know. I don't think I ever buy stuff that are regular price except the occasional pairs of shoes.

I think it's sort of funny how people frown upon shopping like it's the work of the devil. Maybe it's because they're so unwilling to go along with a girl stereotype, maybe they think it's a waste of time, maybe their mommy dresses them, who knows. It's shopping. You're not spending their money. Er, maybe you are. It's like, clothes are a good way to express yourself. It sets you apart. It's cliche, but truee. If you look like everyone else, then what's the point of that.

Hm, is there a point to this post? Hahah, like I would know. I guess I'm just being defensive against something silly. It's a stereotype that I'm not trying to ditch anytime soon.

Angry Rant 1

Be prepared.


UGHHHH, WTF. WHAT THE FUCKING HELL.
Why do people change. Why would ANYONE change. Change is good in gradual doses if for the better/mature. But naaaah, that's not what I fucking get. I get a load of bullshit. Lots and lots, ample amounts of it. WHY? Oh, I have no idea. Seriously. There was nothing I did to trigger this. It was as sudden as freaking... idk. I'm too angry to think of a good example.

And why are people mean. I don't get it. If you're some big stupid bully, then sure. We can all see that. But I don't get it! Why is it, then when I try to be nice, it just ends up fucking getting all screwed up. I try, I try, I try. I've gotten off my lazy ass to be nice. I try, I try. There's no lack of effort here. I'm the one reaching out, explaining myself when it's not needed, I do everything. The biggest thing I do? I put up with this. I put up with all of it. I stick around. I said I'd leave, I said it many times. I just can't.

I want to see the good. I want so badly for things to be like they were BEFORE this stupid phase. Why can't it be. I write all this stuff, I tell myself I don't need this, but nothing works. I'm still trying to make it work. I'm still hoping for a significant change. A wake up call. "Oh shit, what have I become?" Type thing. God, I'm so fucking pathetic. I'm tired of this. It's like constant PMS. There's only so much a person can handle. I don't want to give up. But this is taking a toll of me.

HE DOESN'T FEEL BAD ABOUT SHIT. God. Why do I do this to myself. Why can't he just see. It would make my life so much better if he would just see.

I think this is it. Finally.

Holy Snail

WOW.

Freaking insane dude. My fish died sometime ago, and then for the past couple days, my big snail, Jack, has been just like a rock. Not poking his head out or anything. All I've been seeing was his shell. I thought he died. I teared up a bit. Jack was one cool snail. I know that at least one of my minisnails died, because I saw the clear empty shell. It's either Gary or Poop, RIP whoever it was.

For DAYS, I swear he has not moved. I checked on him many many many times. We all thought he was dead.

He got him from WalMart, so if you take back a dead snail, they'll give you another one. So my mom was thinking that next time she was going there, she'd bag him.

Then, WTF. My mom just called and told me he's still alive. I was like "Uh huh... you sure mom?" And she got all exasperated and was like "YES, HE IS CRAWLING UP THE SIDE OF THE TANK AS WE SPEAK!"

Wowowowowow, Jack lives on.

Academic Thoughts

"Are you ready for school?"
Why does everybody ask me this? No, I'm not ready. Jesus.

I hope I do well this year. Last year I slacked too much. Managed with the last-minute As and Bs, except math of course. Hahahahh. I think I'll like our new teachers, they seem pretty cool. I'll miss the old ones though, I actually enjoyed their classes.

I think a new year is a fresh start for everything. I went through the mess I call my closet, changed it up a little bit. Nothing truly drastic. Hahah. AND I bought a planner. I intend to use it. And I want to be more organized. Homework, folders, files, papers, etc. Hm, seems like I say this before the start of every year. But I especially mean it this time.

I'll be sad once school starts. Emily will missss me. Hahahah, I've grown too attached to that baby. I'm like her 2nd mommy. I change diapers, feed, play, and live with her almost 24/7.

Ugh, school.

Dear Catherine,

You are who you are. If people can't understand that, then that's fine. You deserve better.

You deserve someone who will love you consistently, not just on his own terms. You deserve somebody that will see past your flaws, past, and mistakes. You deserve somebody who KNOWS you. Not just by what you say about yourself. You're better than you give yourself credit for, because you don't deserve to be hurt. Never. You need to be mature and realize that people can't just walk all over you like that. You have to stand up for yourself. If they don't listen, then leave. Just leave. Don't stand around wondering when the next time your heart will get broken will be. Someone who hurts you isn't good enough for you. Learn to leave. If they can't see what they have in front of them, then they're not worth it.

And learn to see through people's words. They will say things over and over again, and one day they'll tell you it was all lies. They'll tear you to pieces and think that mere "sorrys" will suffice.

You think you love him. And maybe you do. But just stop. He's a stupidass punk that doesn't know his right from his left. "Love" is a stupid word. Ehk, don't even say it. *You think that you like him. There, waaaay better. Now, just stop. Feelings for him need to go away. It's not that hard. Think about all the bad things he said/did to you. It'll make you cry all over again, but whatever. Cuddle up with your dog and eat some ice cream, just get over it.

Do what you need to do. Go tear up pictures, kick a wall, pump up your iTunes, imagine gutting him with a spork, write a super long blog post to yourself, anything. Just get him out of your system. He doesn't deserve a thought in your mind. Resist the urge to talk to him, it'll make things worse. Stay strong, it's hard but you know that you can do it. You've done it before, so you know it's been done. Remember after Vietnam? Only this time, just take a metal vacation.

Don't fool yourself either. "He'll change". Hell no, don't think that. Don't assume that things will get better. They don't. Never. I have yet to be proven wrong. Don't sit there and wait for change, do it your damn self. Be a man! Lmao, not really. But you get it.

Now don't go looking. You can't do that. Dudes aren't important now, they just waste your time with their bullshit. If you happen to find one that will treat you right, then proceed with caution. Flirt it up, have fun, who cares. Just don't get committed with someone that doesn't treat you the way you ought to be. And most importantly, learn to let go.

Look after yourself, don't let this happen again. It'll be the end of you.

Take care Lovely,
Me

[Might write later]

KMTA

wtfff.
It's freaking hot outside.

I sort of don't know what to write about today. I had lots of ideas yesterday, but never got around to them. Hm, it's just been a weird week. I just miss the simplicity of life a long ass time ago. Sigh.

Well, I guess I could write about KMTA this year. Wow, where to start. Tech just seems like a dumping ground for kids that don't do well in a "normal" school setting. And it shouldn't be. If kids don't do well with pen and paper, who says they'll do well in tech. Then there's the "my parents made me" kids. Scoff, complain, whine. If you don't want to be here, then that's fine. But don't annoy other people about it. Make due. I wasn't estatic that my mom wanted me to go to KTA, but I did anyways. I'm fine now.

Like today, there was that ONE kid who didn't want to do anything and brought down the whole group. Well, there were a couple, but one that made me want to hit him. Ugh, that was a long couple hours in the morning. Towards the end I had some fun though. Finally got some groupish pictures.

Anyways, I doubt tech will be wonderful this year. At least by midyear, the number of kids will be reduced. Kids quit when they realize that tech isn't right for them.

Just Saying

I'll be okay. I'll make it through.

I always do.

Mommy stinks.

OHMYEFF.

Ughughughugh. This sucks ass.
"I can't wait until the day you can drive so you can run errands while I sit at home and relax."
"Let's get your permit as soon as we can so you can start driving."
-"Okay mom"-

And noowww, her mind has changed! My aunt even offered me my uncle's old VW Golf. It's not the best, but it works. And she offered to pay the driving school fee. But ya know what? Not freaking good enough. She doesn't want to let me drive. She's played all the cards. "Insurance is too expensive." "It's dangerous". "I won't know where you are". GOODFRRUCKINGLORD.

I have a car, money, a permit. But, noooo. She needed the waterworks before she gave in. I mean really, that's cruel. I was quite upset. It's just that she's been telling me for ages that I can drive. And now that I'm permitted and own a car, it seems more realistic. Then, she tells me it's not going to happen, and that I gotta wait til I'm 18. The thing I always thought was cool about my mom was the fact that she was totally cool with driving, she trusted me. And now, yeah.

Well, since she reluntantly gave in, I called the driving school place. Some dude with a thick accent said he'd call back in 20 minutes... wtf. Aw well.

I bet she's going to change her mind anyways. That's how she is. Once I've completed the course, she'll probably say something like "You have to wait 2 more years."

Ahhhhh, my life. So stupid, so stupid.

Harry Potter

Hm. I read all but the last Harry Potter books. Sure, they were good, exciting, whatever. But I've read better before. I don't get it, what's with the HP Hype. It is just a hype? I've read good books that have been turned into movies and I don't see people dressing up as characters, having book parties, and did you know they have "wizzard rock"? Yeah, it's HP music by random bands.

I just don't see what the big deal is. I like the books, and I'll continue to watch the movies, but I'm not as estatic as the next person who has an HP countdown on their myspace page. Or that "wants to marry Harry Potter/Daniel Radcliff".

If only I could slap them across the face and be like LOOK, there are other things to do in life! And if you're strictly books, then at least read some worthwhile ones.

Random. Nah, sparked by people's hilarity.

List of wants

Some things I want before school starts:

• More carmex
• Socks
• A pretty detailed planner
• Solid color V-neck tees
• Light wash denim skinnies
• Pullover hoodies
• More hair clips
• Punkrose
• Long sleeve cardigans
• Solid color earrings
• Cell phone charm
• Hooded jacket

"Picture This"

Guess what I'm watching. PICTURE THIS. lol @ this movie. It's so freaking ridiculous. AH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHH. This stuff just keeps getting better.

Cheesy, cheesy, cheesy. I want to throw up, it's overbearing. This movie makes me want to run and hide. It's worse than any other chick movie I've ever seen in my whole life. Predictable, cheesy, nasueating. All in one! I feel like ranting. I just think it's hillarious. But it makes me cringe. Makes me wish I had someone who shares my taste in movies to watch this with me. Unfortunately, people are in Aberdeen, Vegas, busy, etc. It's just super peachy.

Aw, a sad commercial about climate change and polar bears. Poor bears. Oh, mnow OxiClean. Frankly, the dude scares me. He's like, all hairy with a big huge grin. Not somebody I would want to see on my larger-than-life screen.

Hm, couple more hours before I leave home, again. Kind of glad though, my parents were already starting to make a list of chores and etc. that I have to do. Hahahahh, lame.

R.I.P

My goldfish of nearly 8 years just died. The poor fellow/gal. Now its partner is just swimming aimlessly around the tank. When I last saw it, it was just swimming around like it always did. My momjust called while she was scooping him out. GODDAMNIT, that was one good fish.

Neglectful Celeb Mothers

I'm sick of headlines such as "Looking Hot Weeks After Baby!".

Okay dude. All these celebrities are all slim looking after giving freaking birth. Is that an actual accomplishment? It's like they're neglecting their kids to look good. They basically just excercise their butts off until their baby pooch is gone. Maybe, they should like stop wasting time on tredmills and spend some time with their BABIES. Hah, just a thought.

PostSecret

Okay, if you've seen the All American Rejects music video for Dirty Little Secret, then check out this website.

It's where all the postcards were from.

It's a cool site. Some of them aren't as great, some are veryyy Xrated, etc. etc. But still, they're good. It's updated every Sunday I think. It's where random people write their secrets down on a postcard and send it in. It sounds sort of like "Who would do that", but it's cool. For example:

Random Bits

The weather today is slightly depressing.

Ehk, I'm going to the supermall today. I laugh at its name. It has like, 3 stores that I sort of like, and that's about it. We were thinking about Southcenter, but it's not as close to Auburn, and I've been there quite a bit lately. I'm almost sick of it. Oh well, it's nice to be somewhere indoors on a day like this.

I hate it when people don't have cell phones. That sounds weird, but sometimes people need one. Like, when they are in a different state and have no way to contact you, a cellular would be niceeee. Even freaking prepaid. I had those, ehk. Those were not the days.

Hmm. Feels like I need to write a whole bunch of stuff, but nothing comes to mind at all. I've just been blank lately, it's a result of too many things. It's where like, I don't feel anything. I'm not happy, nor sad. Or anything for that matter. Ughhh, I need to stop writing pointless blogs, it's pretty pointless, lmao.

My god, summer is almost over.

"Nineteen Minutes"

books with absolutely screwed up endings.

Nineteen Minutes, don't go there. If the ending was different, I would be saying it was the best book I ever read. Ugh, I'm probably going to have nightmares for a month now. I need a happy cheesy stupid book now to compensate. Ughugh, so messed up.

Books books, I think the summer is the only time I get to embrace my inner bookworm. During the school year all you get to read are books that you're forced to read by your English teacher. Ehh, off to kcls.org. Then off to random places in Auburn.

Random Bits

I need to stop reading sad books. It's positivley gut-wrenching.

Ehh, not much to do. It feels like freaking Vietnam outisde. I went to wal-mart today. the SUPERCENTER. hahahah, my summer days, so filled with excitement. I got $1 flipflops. And LOTS of junkfood. I'm loaded for awhile.

Tomorrow, I have plans. Maybe. I haven't even slept in my own house for like, days. I kind of miss home now. Crazy. And I'm kind of sad. When I was in New Mexico I still had someee form of communications with Washingtonians. Hahaha, now there's nothing. Hm, I wonder how this will work out. Long distance crap is difficult. Oh welllll.

Hm. I'm mad. I missed this weeks' Secret Life of the American Teenager. The show's pretty typical, but whatever. Hahahh, it's a good substitute for all the other crappy shows I watch during the fall.

Sigh, I wish Kent was more fun. Don't even mention Kentstation, that place is bogggusss.

Southcenter

Southcenter somewhat disappoints me. Sure, it's all big and whatnot. I almost find it overwhelming. XXI Forever took me like, an hour to sift through 3/4 of the racks downstairs and upstairs. The only part that looks the same is near JCP (which had GOOD sales today). After being there 3 times, it's still difficult to get used to. And those expensive stores turn me off, hahahah.

It's not even fully done yet, there are still some stores being built.
The food places aren't even that great. I miss the fast/cheap food. The only place I somewhat enjoy is the Red Mango frozen yogurt place, it's pretty tasty. But the other food places don't seem very promising. And I bought 24 mini chocolate chip cookies today, for $7.99! What cookie selling freaks. I bought a dress for 4 dollars more. Hahahah, pretty stuff.

I kind of miss the old southcenter. Bigger is NOT always better.

Dramatic Sunshine!

My fabulous friend created this website awhile ago. It's a graphics site that has stuff for blogs/websites/myspace, etc. She's super good at it too. I joined on, but I'm just an amateur. It's fun though, totally a way to make use of my boredom.

It'd be nice if you checked it out :D

"Audrey, Wait!"

[I'm a compulsive reader, if you are too, then visit my blog frequently :D]

Novel by: Robin Benway

Aside from the typos and errors in the book, this novel was great. It had the perfect balance of cheesiness and "fucking awesomeness". The plot was really unique in that there aren't many novels out there about a girl like Audrey. The book was humorous and seemed to revolve around romance. There were quotes and lines from countless songs scattered throughout the novel. I will admit that I didn't know half of them, so it's fine if you're not that tuned into that certain genre of music.

It reminded me of Delilah, of "Hey There Delilah", the song written by the Plain White T's about frontman's love.

9/10

About

An introduction to this blog:

My name is catherine, I don't like to give out information for fear of internet predators and pedophiles, they give me nightmares.

This is truly a random blog, you'll find everything on it. Not so much the typical diary type stuff though, as I save that for my old-school journal. I have my opinions too, so they'll be prevelant throughout this blog.