Angry Rant 1

Be prepared.


UGHHHH, WTF. WHAT THE FUCKING HELL.
Why do people change. Why would ANYONE change. Change is good in gradual doses if for the better/mature. But naaaah, that's not what I fucking get. I get a load of bullshit. Lots and lots, ample amounts of it. WHY? Oh, I have no idea. Seriously. There was nothing I did to trigger this. It was as sudden as freaking... idk. I'm too angry to think of a good example.

And why are people mean. I don't get it. If you're some big stupid bully, then sure. We can all see that. But I don't get it! Why is it, then when I try to be nice, it just ends up fucking getting all screwed up. I try, I try, I try. I've gotten off my lazy ass to be nice. I try, I try. There's no lack of effort here. I'm the one reaching out, explaining myself when it's not needed, I do everything. The biggest thing I do? I put up with this. I put up with all of it. I stick around. I said I'd leave, I said it many times. I just can't.

I want to see the good. I want so badly for things to be like they were BEFORE this stupid phase. Why can't it be. I write all this stuff, I tell myself I don't need this, but nothing works. I'm still trying to make it work. I'm still hoping for a significant change. A wake up call. "Oh shit, what have I become?" Type thing. God, I'm so fucking pathetic. I'm tired of this. It's like constant PMS. There's only so much a person can handle. I don't want to give up. But this is taking a toll of me.

HE DOESN'T FEEL BAD ABOUT SHIT. God. Why do I do this to myself. Why can't he just see. It would make my life so much better if he would just see.

I think this is it. Finally.