no longer the puppeteer, I am the puppet

no longer the puppeteer, I am the puppet, originally uploaded by ohhh catherine.

summuh

this summer's not so bad so far. nowadays I work 6hrs/day x 5 days a week. it's all good but I just wanna sleep in some days. or spend some time with my boy. seems like we haven't seen each other in awhile. last time I saw him was over the weekend when we took Emily to the mall. we're planning a road trip to Portland this summer though, that should be helllla fun. it's even been pre-approved by my parents which is uhm, kind of shocking actually.then I got the trip to the zoo soon, hahah. it amazes me how excited I am. and then the rest of the summer (what time I have left) is to apply for a crap load of scholarships. yuuum, can't wait.

I don't know, I just felt like writing something in here since I've been majorly sluffing in my physical journal. lame! it's like with all this typing my capacity to actually hand write something has decreased.

annnnnnd that's about it.

my current wishlist

• bandeau tops
• long sleeve dresses
• white dr martens
• a velvet or lace bodysuit
• a bare-back dress
• a tripod
• thick-heeled shoes
• Zune HD
• a new freaking laptop

dear friends,

you aren't my friends anymore. if you think applies to you then it does.

I made an effort, if goes by unreturned then it's not up to me anymore. all I can say is no more effort will be made, nor will it be returned from me. if you don't have the decency to look at anyone out of sight then it's fine. your "out of sight, out of mind" complex will be fun to see in action next year when we're all off to different places. I wonder who will still be there for you.

I hope all goes well for you.

love happens

my gosh,
my favorite flickr photog. and her equally talented photo. boyfriend have broken up. he found a new girl, she's still broken hearted. they lived in different countries (met on flickr) and their relationship was basically documented through their photos and blog. when they finally met each other they produced this series of remarkable pictures that I fell in love with. it inspired me to pick up a camera and not just take pictures of flowers and grass and animals. it sparked the beginning of my photography ambitions.

I feel so disheartened. believing in a love story in addition to your own is dangerous stuff. it ends up skewing your trust in the stability of love. not that there is stability to believe in really... it takes but a second to decide to change your mind about something.

when a heart breaks... it don't break even.

you know when you can relate to something even if it doesn't apply anymore?

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just prayin' to a god that I don't believe in
Cos I got time while she got freedom
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break even

Her best days will be some of my worst
She finally met a man that's gonna put her first
While I'm wide awake she's no trouble sleeping
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven... even... no

What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you,
And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up that you're ok
I'm falling to pieces, yeah,
I'm falling to pieces

They say bad things happen for a reason
But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding
Cos she's moved on while I'm still grieving
And when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven even... no

What am I gonna to do when the best part of me was always you,
And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up that you're ok
I'm falling to pieces, yeah,
I'm falling to pieces, yeah,
I'm falling to pieces
(One still in love while the other ones leaving)
I'm falling to pieces
(Cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven)

Oh you got his heart and my heart and none of the pain
You took your suitcase, I took the blame.
Now I'm try'na make sense of what little remains ooh
Cos you left me with no love and no love to my name.

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just prayin' to a god that I don't believe in
Cos I got time while she got freedom
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break
No it don't break
No it don't break even no

What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you and
What am I suppose to say when I'm all choked up that you're ok
(Oh glad your okay now)
I'm falling to pieces yeah
(Oh I'm glad your okay)
I'm falling to pieces yeah
(One still in love while the other ones leaving)
I'm falling to pieces
(Cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven)

Oh it don't break even no
Oh it don't break even no
Oh it don't break even no