I have seriously lost the will to blog. But I have found that blogger is not blocked on KSD computers. So maybe in class I can sneak a blog or two in.
Right now I feel fragile. It's a feeling I don't like. Blogging helps, yes, but in this case I don't even know how I feel. It hurts, but I'm looking forward to the day when things get better. I don't want to get into details, but I've just been fucked over too many times. I want to cry, scream, yell, smile, laugh. It's all a big mess. It's like... these memories keep flashing in my head. Like, good times. Goddamn. It's sad knowing that I'm the only one thinking about them. People said it'd hurt, but I never knew what the hell they were talking about.
I still don't understand anything. I can't even get answers about my own goddamn life. It's forreal stupid when something like this happens. It's like, something's missing. I have all this time to fill now and nothing to do anymore. I fell too hard, and that's just the truth.
I was feeling like writing another angry rant, but I'm tired of being mad. Being mad doesn't change anything, neither does being sad. I just feel like I know things. I'm somewhat realistic, and I know that the day will come. It's all going to fall apart like it did for me. For his sake, I hope it doesn't. For my sake, I hope it does. I'm selfish, I know. But I get to be.
Distract me, please.
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