" "

What's meant to be will be.

How cheesy and vague. What the hell is that supposed to mean? Idk, that quote just randomly came to mind. I remember telling myself that and hearing it from those who cared about me. I got tired of hearing it but then I saw how it could apply to me. And so it did. It's so true though... the way things work out. When you're hopeless and have no faith left, it's hard to put your trust into a stupid quote that you can find off someone's myspace.

I basically was quite angry at God for awhile. I love Emily so much, and it was so unfair to just sit there and watch her father die. What did she do to deserve it? For many months afterwards I didn't feel like there was anything to believe in. I had my hopes up the whole time, "He'll be okay in the end. He'll survive." No, it didn't work out that way.

Then earlier this year... I don't like sharing details of it all but it applied too. Leah even told me that quote and I was like "yeahyeah, I get it". I guess I tried to salvage what was there... and at one point I was like "screw it". I didn't give up, I just let things go. I figured that if things were to turn out for the better, then they would. If not then I would just have to move on. I backed off, and I guess that's all I had to do in the first place. That day... it was just pure luck. I asked my mom if I could go out to Fright Fest alone with a guy for several hours during rainy weather and she actually said yes. Wtf. It was a first. AND she offered to drive, that was unusual too. So what if my mom had said no? I wonder what would have happened. Then, that night was one that I'll remember possibly forever. It was that fun and amazing, but I'll keep those details to myself. They're too cute, hahahh. Although I did catch pneumonia that night. But oh well. What's meant to be will be.